How many times will I break before I SHAttER?

[Stormeh]

[*ponders* I'm not sure if I want to use the blockquote font thing or center... xDD Ohh, well. Goldenwing on the way. =D How interesting she should be now...]

THINGS HADN'T BEEN HOW SHE HAD EXPECTED THEY WOULD BE. NOTHING SEEMED like it was supposed to be this way. Nothing. It was all so surreal, as if none of the past couple of moons'...morose events had occurred. Why should they have?

As these thoughts coursed through the slender tortoiseshell's mind, she exited the RavineClan camp, paws leading her aimlessly. She wasn't paying the land any attention; she trusted her paws enough. They had been kind to her in the past, after all. She chuckled softly at the thought.

It wasn't every day that a cat found out that she was the daughter of a medicine cat, particularly when that medicine cat was of another Clan. Not only that, but her father had been the CherryClan...leader? Things still just weren't seeming to work. None of the pieces wanted to cooperate and correspond. Everything wanted to be different.

Not many cats had actually treated her differently, but, then again, not every cat knew. Goldenwing had preferred to keep all of her thoughts to herself on the subject of the matter. She wasn't even sure about how things would turn out from here on out.

She was sure that some cats considered her to be a halfClan disloyal cat, but she was most certainly not. She hadn't known about this fact until approximately two moons ago. And in no way, shape, or form was she going to leave RavineClan. No way. She didn't have many ties to it, but loyalty was a strong bond, one that was practically impossible to break. She would never belong to another Clan if it was up to her.

It wasn't until she had been padding for quite a time before she realized that there was a fluffy white snow under her paws, freezing her pads slowly. A little cold chill tore up her spine and she realized her cold she really was.

One fluid maneuver later, she was up on top of a fallen tree, tail curled tightly around her paws, leaving herself to just think.

[Icky. =[ My apologies, Wazo. I just hafta go for a bit... =P Not too long, though...]

[Wazo]

It was cold. It was certainly chilly. But Beestripe loved it.

In fact, there wasn't much that he didn't like, from rainy drizzles, to sizzling sunlight, to crunchy leaves, or falling snow, Beestripe embraced it all with a good-natured warmth. Joy was stamped on his features as he danced around the clearing, catching the whisps of snowflakes with his tongue and purring like a kit, making deep tracks with his large black pawpads.

It was then that he was sent on a patrol, after he was seen to evidentally have a little bit too much free time on his paws with all the prancing around camp and what not. Some cats just didn't know how to have fun. Still he couldn't complain. He was told to pick at least one more cat to go with him, everything had been a little looser as Rainstar grew more ill and Phantomsun had her paws full. As his hazel eyes scanned the camp, he realized that most cats were busy already, many were on hunting patrols to make up for the frigid moons.

It was then he remembered seeing Goldenwing exiting camp, not being sent by the deputy or another warrior. He was allowed to choose anyone and she seemed to be the only one not engaged in something or another. Not that he minded anyway, she was one of the prettiest she-cats he had seen, and even confident Beestripe was not immune to a beautiful she-cat. Still he wasn't sure what he would call it...not a crush, but a notice? He had after all, noticed her.

With swift strides, he exited the camp, picking up the scent of his fellow Ravineclanner, and padded towards the smell. His sandy-beige fur streaked with thick stripes didn't lend him much of a paw in blending into the snowy slopes, nor did his impressive size. The scent stopped abruptly and he lifted his nose from the ground surprised to see his path blocked by a large fallen tree. He was even more surprised to see the slender golden she-cat on top of it.

In perfect Beestripe fashion, he grinned rougishly, his eyes sparkling in a medely of bright greens and golds, along with warm brown tones. "Well hello Goldenwing, whatcha doing in a tree?" he asked, his tail flicking behind him curiously. "Me and you are needed on a patrol," he added, displaying his reason for even following her here in the first place.

[Stormeh]

THE GOLDEN-AND-TORTOISESHELL SHE-CAT HAD BEEN ENJOYING HER VIEW OF the forest...that is, until Beestripe came along. She couldn't suppress the shiver of agitation that edged up her spine at being discovered. She had wanted to be away from the Clan, not with it at the moment.

However, she knew that most cats now knew of her parentage, and she had to present herself as an even more loyal warrior now.

Besides, it wasn't Beestripe's fault, anyway. He was just performing his duty.

Goldenwing swiped her tongue along her chest to hide her past annoyance and turned to greet the tom.

"I dunno," she mewed quietly. "I just felt like coming out here to think. I've never been one for being alone so much...but it seems that the more attention about this whole ordeal I get, the less I enjoy it." She smiled at Beestripe. "Something to keep my mind busy should be nice, though."

Goldenwing leapt gracefully off of the felled tree that she had been occupying and stopped at her Clanmate's side. "Please excuse me if I speak a bit tersely," she apologized. "It's just been a long moon...a very stressful one." With a shake of her head, she tried to dismiss her thoughts about the CherryClanners and the events that had passed. "Where are we supposed to go? And are there any more cats joining us?" she queried, curious.

Not that she wouldn't be satisfied with just Beestripe; at the moment, he was the only cat that seemed to be so calm around her. Not only that, but he was a nice cat, one who seemed to be full of good-humor and he was fairly laid-back. The young warrior she-cat couldn't find any qualities about him that she didn't like, though if she had, she knew that she would have kept her mouth shut about it, anyway.

As Goldenwing waited for his reply, she moved a few pawfuls of snow around slowly, her way of keeping absolutely busy.

[Ick. Sorry it's so short. =[ Erg...]

[Wazo]

Mentally, Beestripe smacked himself upside the head. Stupid question. Of course she had come out her to be by herself, and who wouldn't? Especially after this whole business concerning her parentage, what cat wouldn't want to get away from camp for a bit? And here comes Beestripe to spoil that moment. He smiled, but his grin made fair mockery of the worry in his eyes. Well, he certainly couldn't retract the offer.

"No worries. I don't blame you for wanting to get away from camp. But things will pass soon, trust me. Not every warrior is born strictly adhering to the warrior code, myself included. I'm not RavineClan born. Still doesn't stop me from being a loyal warrior," he commented, his ears twitching slightly.

He shook his head. "Nope, just me and you. The rest of the clan was pretty busy, with Rainstar's illness and all that. Apparently I had too much time on my hands," he added, smiling broadly at the thought of his playful escapade. "And the only other cat I could think of not already involved in a task was you, so here I am! I guess we are to patrol the territory by the druids, we havn't heard from them in awhile, and then head back. I believe another patrol is taking care of the clan boundries."

He paused, waiting for her to reply, uncertain if his presence here was even welcome. She had seem a bit annoyed, although Goldenwing did apologize for any tenseness in her words. This was new for Beestripe, having to worry whether some cat liked him. Beestripe's optimism and happy-go-lucky personality made it hard to dislike him and Beestripe didn't really care if they did dislike him. But he worried she did.

[Stormeh]

A HUGE GRIN SPREAD ACROSS Goldenwing's face. He was definitely impossible to dislike. He was so calm, so nice...

"At this point, that sounds like a marvelous idea," she commented. "RavineClan could use a good patrol, and which warriors would be better than us?" She cuffed him over the ear gently with sheathed claws.

He was most definitely the most amazing potential friend she could have.

Though she was taken slightly aback with his words about being born in another Clan. For some reason, she hadn't ever thought about it. She had been too wrapped up in knowing about her own parents.

She began to head towards the boundary that RavineClan shared with the Druids. They were such fascinating cats. She hadn't seen one for herself yet, but there had been stories about them. Plenty of stories and myths. The young tortoiseshell wondered what she would actually do if she spotted one...

As she kept padding forward, she turned her head slightly to look at Beestripe. "So...erm...I hate to ask, but I fell that it's...out of curiosity that I must," she mewed awkwardly. "Do you know your parents? If that's too personal or you don't want to answer, just tell me." She turned her head forward again. "It's just...kind of comforting to know that I'm not the only one," she mewed quietly, so quietly that she wasn't even sure that Beestripe could have heard her.

She didn't want for this to be a sad, morose patrol, especially since the two of them were such normally-happy cats, but there seemed to be a dark cloud looming over every single place that Goldenwing went, and to be discussing heritage was just something that she thought to be interesting.

And, although she wasn't born into RavineClan, she was born of a leader and a medicine cat...which may have been something to be slightly proud of if she were some other cat.

Well...the leader being her father part, at least.

[Wazo]

His smile instantly brightened like someone had just turned on a light switch, the golden flecks dancing in his hazel eyes. Apparently she wasn't mad at him after all, he thought, flicking his tail cheerfully. He mentally gave himself a point for managing to say the right things.

"Of course. If anything we will stun any enemies with our attractiveness," he answered with a wink, bounding after her happily, his past worries a distant memory. His head bobbed up and down as he caught up and matched his strides with the golden she-cat.

His brow furrowed slightly when she asked him. He hadn't really been expecting this, after all, this was the topic other cats seemed to view as taboo. He had never been asked this before, even when he and his sister first came to the clan. But Goldenwing would be the one most interested, the one who could understand...

"Naw, it's a good question. I'm actually glad you brought it up. Other cats seem to skirt around it, but I'm sure you understand that. Besides the way I see it, this is my story. And stories need words, just like living things need air. Without words, stories die. And then they come back to haunt you," he paused, and looked sideways at her. He wasn't sure whether she felt that way, after all, she seemed bottled up about her own story.

"I was born in a different clan, kinda the same as this, kinda not. There were only two clans with slightly different customs. My mother died shortly after I was born, so I never knew her. I vaguely remember my father," he commented, wrinkling his forehead in concentration. "He had a dark pelt, so I must take after my mother. My sister, Morninglight, rescued me from a fire that consumed our home, but I don't remember that either. She raised me for awhile in the woods, with Lostmoon..er..Loststar. We split ways after awhile, I still remember them fighting about it. We never knew we would stumble into two separate clans, me and Morninglight in Ravine and Loststar in TealClan. Who knew he would end up leader?" Who knew that Beestripe and Loststar were actually brothers? Certainly not Beestripe.

He stopped to draw breath, almost as confused about his history as Goldenwing would probably be. Morninglight avoided the topic whenever he brought it up and as much as he loved her, he resented having such a big piece missing from his life. What if he had kits someday? What would he tell them, that he hardly knew anything about his past? He wanted to be able to share himself with his friends but what had he to give?

He decided to end there, after all, he didn't have much more to tell. Curious as he was about Goldenwing, he didn't ask about her thoughts, about his history or her own. Curious he was, but certainly not pushy. She would talk on her own time, or not at all. His paws traced patterns behind him on the dirt as they continued to walk towards the boundry.

[Stormeh]

"YOU'RE SO LUCKY," GOLDENWING MEWED quietly as they padded onward. "I wish that I had been able to meet Nightstar. Many cats say he was a good leader...but there are also many who say that Redstar was better he ever was. Mixed emotions, no?"

She turned her golden gaze to Beestripe. "I truly didn't know that you grew up with Loststar. How funny, though, that I was born to a leader and you were raised by one." She grinned at the tom. "Maybe we're more alike than some cats would figure, and it'll pretty much be our little secret."

Although Beestripe hadn't said it, Goldenwing was feeling his curiosity practically radiate off of him, just as she was sure that hers was doing. She was battling herself in her mind about whether or not to tell him.

In the end, she decided that it would be better to let the tom in. She hadn't spoken with any other cats except for Firestone--not even Silverhawk, who had been there and was a friend of Tawnystone's through medicine cat ranking--and it would be nice to let the burden not be carried solely by herself.

She watched the ground as her paws hit it, her pink pads not making a sound as they caressed the earth.

"You don't exactly know the story, do you?" she murmured. "Of course, though...I don't know if any cat does besides Firestone, and I don't think he knows all of it. Tell me to shut my big mouth if you don't want to hear all of it," she added quickly, trying to be polite. "You know that Tawnystone and Nightstar fell in love a long time ago? And that she had one kit? Well, I'm her kit, of course. I'm sure you figured that much out. I hope she found him happily in StarClan... He died in the old forest in a fight against rogues, the same ones that...that...Fernstar called forth, I think." She spat the dead leader's name with contempt. If it weren't for her, Goldenwing may have met her father, and perhaps Tawnystone would still be alive because of his presence. Surely she wouldn't... "Anyway, He lost his last life then. As you know, the Clans moved here...and I guess Tawnystone just couldn't take it anymore."

If any cat knew much about Tawnystone or had seen her before, they must have considered Goldenwing to be a striking resemblance. They both had marvelous tortoiseshell pelts, though Goldenwing's had many more golden hues in it than Tawnystone's had. The only big difference was their eyes. Tawnystone's had been a light, clear blue; Goldenwing's were a deep gold.

"She killed herself with deathberries," she continued. "I'm probably not supposed to be telling any cat that, but I'm going to tell you the truth...though if anyone asks, she died from exhaustion." She threw her Clanmate a glance to show that she was serious. "I don't think there's much more I can tell you. I don't think there is anything else I could say."

She let her eyes wander to Beestripe's frame for a moment before turning away. She hoped that this didn't change the warrior's opinion of her. He was the closest cat that she had to a friend right now, and, honestly, she considered him to be a friend wholeheartedly.

[Wazo]

He smiled. "Two peas in a pod," he commented, continuing to follow her steady pawsteps, his tail swishing from side to side.

He continued to listen to her story, his eyes widening slightly at the fact that Tawnystone had killed herself with deathberries. He certainly would take that secret to StarClan; besides, Goldenwing had enough going on as it was for that fact to start circulating around camp. He had a duty as her friend to keep her confidence.

But he couldn't help feel a flash of anger shadow his hazel eyes for a brief moment. Perhaps he couldn't possibly understand the pain Tawnystone was in, her mate dead, her completely shattering the warrior code, and watching her daughter be raised obliviously in another clan. But spilling Goldenwing's past and then killing herself mere minutes later seemed so harsh to Beestripe. How was Goldenwing supposed to feel, having just met her mother, and then watching her die in front of her? And if that wasn't enough, having a dead body on her territory to explain to not just her clan, but all three clans? Being whispered behind her back, doubted for her loyalty, all while mourning parents she never knew?

But he would never say that to her, less she find it an attack against her mother, and Beestripe didn't want to do anything that would trample this blossoming friendship.

His hazel eyes shifted to her and he mewed, "That is some story. You're strong for taking this in all at once," he commented quietly. "Many other cats wouldn't be able to hack being thrown all that at once. I admire you," he said with a smile. "You don't have to worry either," he added quickly. "I won't tell a soul."

[Stormeh]

GOLDENWING LET OUT A MRROW of amusement. "Exactly," she purred. "Two birds of a feather fly together, right? Guess we're birds now." She smiled at her awful joke. "I know you won't tell anyone and...and...I think that's why I told you." The she-cat's golden eyes seemed as if they were a bit clearer, a tad brighter.

For the many days that had passed since Tawnystone's passing, Goldenwing hadn't spoken about the event to any cat except for the day of her death, and even then she hadn't been very lenient with details. Though there weren't many to give, she didn't feel comfortable with spilling her heart out to many cats at all. She hadn't ever felt like she had any true friends in her Clan, which is quite possibly why she had become the skilled warrior she was. She didn't have to waste time in keeping up friendships or relations; she had no mother or father to reel her in when she wanted to go off and do other things, and being scolded by any queen or warrior frightened her, so she was a stickler for the rules. Always.

She figured she'd never change.

"It's easier to have told you," she murmured. "Much." And suddenly, she did something she never thought she would do to any cat. She pressed her muzzle to his flank for a quick moment before pulling away again and continued to pad onward. Heat raced through her body as embarrassment took its toll. "Sorry," she mewed quietly, keeping her eyes on the ground that was directly in front of her paws.

They had almost reached the border and there was still nothing.

What a surprise.

Things had been very quiet and peaceful as of late. This territory just seemed like it was the best place that the Clans could have chosen, with its lush territory and abundant prey. No, this didn't surprise Goldenwing, though her own actions did. Perhaps that was just an ecstatic moment, one that she would cherish as a coming-of-friends type thing.

She smiled at the thought and felt her body cool off ever-so-slightly.

[Wazo]

He smiled warmly, pleased to see that she seemed to be feeling better, that perhaps him rudely interrupting her alone time wasn't such a bad thing after all. His whiskers twitched with amusement at her comment, her remembered always wanting to be a bird, then, he could fly back to his old home and see what really happened and how he really came to be.

"Well you are GoldenWING," he teased, unable to stop a grin from tugging his handsome features. His tail swished behind him, he was certainly having fun with this patrol. He had been slightly flabbergasted at her story, but he would keep her silence, and was thrilled to find that she trusted him that much.

But as surprised as he was about that, his hazel eyes flew open with astonishment as he felt the warm touch of her muzzle against his striped side. He had never seen Goldenwing touch another cat or even confide in another. He grinned down at her but a soft pink traitorously crept into his creeks. His hazel eyes glowed and he turned his head away to focus on the paths ahead. "Don't be sorry," he mewed softly.

"It's quiet today," he commented, hoping to perhaps ease the discomfort he was sensing from her, perhaps from her sudden action. He sniffed and was surprised to smell the foreign scent of the druids. Even the other clans were strangely familler to him after the long journey. "Huh, the druids must have been here very recently, the scent is pretty strong," he added.

[Stormeh]

GOLDENWING WATCHED THE TOM INTENSELY, trying to figure out how he would react before he did. She enjoyed his reaction, however, and even gave a little purr towards his joke. The smile of the young she-cat hadn't graced her form in days; today was amazing.

After she sniffed the air for a moment, she turned towards her friend. "Well, as close as they are to here, I wouldn't be surprised to find any one of them right around here, actually. Poor Druids. I know that we found a great place and whatnot, but did we really have to take their home? I mean...they did find it first," she reasoned. "It just seems kind of strange to me that we would take their land after we've faced so many hardships over it." She gave a little shrug. "But I guess that's why I'm not a leader. I probably couldn't make those kinds of decisions. I'd be too busy worrying about what everyone thought about it all!" She grinned. "I'd like to meet one. I bet they're actually very kind cats, what with them letting us take so much land and being awfully quiet about it. How interesting."

She moved forward stealthily after a gust entered her mouth. She left her jaw hanging as she let her body drop down into a crouch. Carefully, smoothly, she let her paws take her to where her nose and scent glands in the roof of her mouth wanted for them to go. The she-cat's eyes had become nearly black; her pupils took nearly all of the space over. Without even hardly stopping, she leapt, only to lose the bird to the air. Unfazed, however, she pounced into the air and brought the pigeon back down. She silenced it with a bite to its throat.

A little bit prideful of her catch, she padded back to Beestripe with her head held high. She let the bird fall to the ground in front of him. "I believe our midday meal has been served," she purred. "I think we could use it, don't you?"

[Wazo]

Beestripe raised one eyebrow as Goldenwing dropped into a crouch, but understood why immediately when she returned with her proud catch. "Beautiful AND talented," he teased, eyeing the bird with appreciation. "I'll say, with two superb warriors such as ourselves, we need all the nutrition we can get," he said with a grin brightening his features. "And I'm starved," he commented, taking a bite.

He chewed thoughtfully, thinking about her comments about the druids. Why did they let three strange clans share their land? Was it because they were really kind beings, like Goldenwing suggested? Or were they simply watching and waiting, calculating their next move?

He swallowed, his normally bright hazel eyes shadowed with a sort of doubt. "Hard to believe, but we did it. What worries me is, if we took their land, how are we different then the foxes?" he asked, not really expecting an answer and his smile became a hard line. "Sure we didn't take any lives, because they didn't put up a fight. I wonder if it would have ever come to that," he contemplated, staring at the ground, and then back at the she-cat's golden form.

[Wazo]

ooc: i can play a druid if we want to continue this

[Raven-chan]

It had been awhile since she had gone hunting, for any reason. It seemd like tensions were high, and she felt her heart nearly soaring in her chest, her fur ruffling in the wind, her short paws treading softly over the snow-covered ground. Her yellow-blue eyes sparkled with the joy of jogging in no particular direction, her mouth open for scents.

The odor of the Clan boundary hit her, and her relaxed demeanor disappeared. Her ears pricked upwards, her tail coiled angrily around her left hind leg, and her eyes narrowed sharply. She was not one of the Clan-lovers. She headed towards the border, an acrid taste filling her mouth. Many of the Druids felt that accepting the Clans and giving them homes was the best thing to do, the most peaceful. But Snow felt cheated out of their beautiful land, their long stretches of grass and trees, the open sky and the smell of life all around.

She didn't support the Clans. Reaching the border, the petite and beautiful she-cat looked around, wondering where they were. Even if she didn't like them much, she had always wondered what they were like. Her mottled pelt stood out against the white snow all around her, but her white paws blended into her fluffy namesake. She wouldn't attack them...no, she wouldn't. Not unless the provoked her, which wouldn't be too hard. Then again, she didn't want to give a bad impression of her fellow Druids. Then again, these Clanners irked her in the wrong way...

[Stormeh]

A GROWL ROSE FROM BEHIND Snow as a lithe black tom approached. He moved stealthily and the low growl was the only alert he gave to the she-cat, though she should have heard him foxlengths back, he figured. The Druids were much better at sensing each other than the Clanners were, he was sure. His mis-matched eyes were trained on the two cats that were in front of him.

Almost as if he had read her mind, Night quietly growled, "Something about them isn't right. They're so...strange...." Although he didn't oppose the Clanners, either, it still vexed him that they would bother talking about the Druids as if they weren't even there. And yes--they had taken some of the Druids' land...but there was plenty to go around, he figured.

For now, at least.

And anyway, if they ever needed to take any back, he was sure that they could. The Druids were just specialized far beyond the Clanners. They relied on certain types of fresh-kill whereas the Druids could eat practically anything that moved [although he pushed aside the fact that many things that moved were disgusting].

His eyes narrowed. "I wonder what they're doing so close to the border," he wondered aloud.

&&

Goldenwing was taken aback by Beestripe's sudden somber tone. She had to contemplate what he was saying before she chose an answer.

"From how they've been lately," she replied carefully, "I don't think that they really do care. And of course we don't know how far their territory stretches. They may have a day's trek worth of land before they come to their next boundary once you cross the one right here." She took a bite of the bird after he took his. She chewed slowly, thoughtfully. "And I don't much think we're worse than the foxes. The foxes didn't need a home. The foxes ravaged our home. We wouldn't ever do that to the Druids. They seem to be peaceful enough. We're only taking up the land that we need, anyway. It's not like we're trying to drive them out of their home."

She didn't add that the foxes had been brought upon them by a cat, and that the Clans didn't include the bloodthirsty leader's Clan any longer--not here. Back in the old forest, yes, there had been four Clans, but here...not so much. It was better this way, anyway--right? Even though StarClan had always decreed that there needed to be four Clans, did they not know how terrible BrookClan actually was? And for their own leader to endanger all of them like that! She remembered how the Clan had grieved long ago for the loss of one of its apprentices due to the foxes.

With a sigh, Goldenwing took another bite of the bird. "All the same, I'm very anxious to know what will happen next."