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Post by Wazo on Aug 14, 2008 0:03:36 GMT -5
ooc: im loling at my title xD
The sun had barely begun to rise and bathe the inhabitants of RavineClan in gold light. The birds had just begun twittering their morning song and the camp was peacefully still, the clan members still doused in dreams. Bearpaw however, was wide awake.
In the corner of the apprentice den, in his usual spot close to his sister, but not too close. His thick stone gray fur was fluffy from a long night of sleep, streaked with the tabby stripes of his mother. His lime green eyes were inquisitive and thoughtful, as thougts whirled in his mind. He had woken up earlier, to the rich brown form of his sister next to him and the tom tabby also in the den.
Cometpaw liked Cinderpaw. And something about the way Cinderpaw acted, Bearpaw suspected, he felt the same. But he still couldn't be sure. It was hard for Bearpaw to grasp this concept initially. He hadn't had any experience with a she-cat, nor did he think one would be interested. He was too quiet and serious, not to mention his handicap. But he knew his sister and he knew when something was different.
Cometpaw would get upset with him, she would get angry at his words, angry at other people. But nothing seemed to make her more angry then making a mistake in front of or getting snapped at by Cinderpaw. Bearpaw didn't understand it at first, but his only explaination would be that the person's approval that she wanted the most was Cinderpaw and it hurt her the most to look weak in front of him.
Which brought Bearpaw up to Cinderpaw. He didn't know exactly what Cinderpaw was thinking, but if his intention was to hurt her, lead her on, or toy with her emotions, Bearpaw would not have the patience to be civil. His responsiblity to his sister weighed deeply on his mind. With no parents, who else did she have?
With a sigh, he hoisted himself from the floor, and proceeded to Cinderpaw's nest. His bright green eyes were serious as he poked Cinderpaw with a large gray paw. "We need to talk," he mewed quietly. "Meet you outside". And with that, the tom lumbered out of the den. |
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Post by __ S K Y E on Aug 14, 2008 15:14:14 GMT -5
sadness flies on the wings of the morning...
[/color]   
and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. [/color] [/center]
___ A soft breeze pushed its way through the dense undergrowth that covered the forest floor, leaving waving grasses and fluttering leaves in its wake. It secured a handful of colorful petals that had fallen from their flowers and tossed them into the air, watching them dance and twirl gracefully until they'd reached the ground once more. Off the gentle wind bounded, from one fern to another, until it had reached a particularly thick part of the wood. Taking the given opportunity to travel along a different sort of path, the bubble of warm air began to climb away from the ground, reaching higher and higher until its belly was no longer skimming the tips of the grasses and leaves of the shrubs. Soon it was winding its way up around a large oak tree with a massively wide trunk, rubbing against the rough bark as the green-leaf breeze climbed onward towards the forest's canopy.
As the soft breath of wind wound it's way past the forest of wood that covered much of RavineClan's territory and into the confines of the reserved clan's camp, it found itself whistling through the sharp brambles of the nursery, past the fluttering ferns of the apprentices' den and onto the somewhat thick, though bronze-painted, fur of a young tabby feline that had been stretched out sleepily across his mossy bedding, eyes closed peacefully. It was the end of summer, the heat now gone, as autumn was just around the corner and even as the tom's breath came in a few peaceful puffs of air, a smile dancing across his jaw, he still felt the warm trickle of light that the morning brought. The cat's long tail flicked idly, and the creature's small maw twitched faintly in response as soon as the wind danced across his maw, the sun's gentle rays of light falling quietly over his shoulders and across the expanse of his well-crafted face.
For once, he was having a rather good dream filled with bunnies and mice -- oh yeah, and Cometpaw too. Smiling inwardly, he snuggled deeper into the moss and continued playing with Cometpaw, his bracken paws dancing across the pale grass that covered their paws. Her warm laughter chimed in his ears - a wonderfully beautiful, glorious sound that he had always yearned to hear in real life - as he chased her and he wiggled his eyebrows deviously in her direction as he shot forward again, the bunnies just a mouse-length away from his grasp. In this dream, he wasn't short and useless and just horrible, but he was perfect and strong and swift; he felt like he could do anything -- but that might have been because of the presence of the she-cat at his side. With another ringing laugh, he crouched - power building in his hind legs - and quickly bounded forward, aiming for the fluffy, though mouth-watering plump, rabbit. He missed, tumbling against the soft grass as the sun continued to dance across his lean frame, but that didn't bother him because he could see her warm laughter ringing behind him as she caught her mouse and though he flushed at his mistake, the young tom - his emerald orbs dancing with mirth - couldn't help but follow suit, his laughter just as glorious as hers. She loped over to him, smiling like there was no tomorrow, as they engaged in a playfight of their own and this time - with him on top - he trapped her in his paws with a breath-taking grin. He leaned forward -
Ow, he nearly moaned at the large paw that had - he thought somewhat angrily, though more annoyed - awoken him from his wonderful dream with Cometpaw [he rarely had those, they were usually filled with nightmares of his brother's death or with Cometpaw trying to kill him because he had made yet another mistake in his words] before, his mind still in a fog, realized that it was Bearpaw who had woke him, the large gray paw that poked him clear evidence of that. Barely being able register the words that the older tom had voiced, he watched as the lumbering tom stepped back and strolled out of then den, obviously filled with concerns and thoughts that had made him unable to get a good night's sleep.
Talk..?' he wondered foggily, still in a daze. Blinking his verdant-emerald pools sleepily, the tom lifted his head from her paws and gazed briefly around the apprentices den, a faint smile creasing his face when they lingered upon a certain brown she-cat, before stumbling out of it after Bearpaw. It must have been something important if he had to wake him up at this hour.
Ducking his head as he exited the den, the young tom carefully pressed his paws against the warm grass and marveled in wonder - for a brief second - at the rising sun, a content smile playing across his features. Then he turned to Cometpaw's brother with a serious look, eyes narrowed briefly for a moment, before his eyes filled with complete confusion and concern when a thought crossed his mind. Bearpaw knew Cometpaw well - they were siblings - so perhaps this concerned her? His eyes widened.
" Bearpaw? Is Cometpaw sick? ", he asked, the concern in his voice slowly giving way to the insane fear that she would ever be hurt. Was she?', his mind was screaming now, Darnnit, Bearpaw, answer me!' He stared at the larger tom, his taller frame towering over him, and he waited, the naked fear on his face clearer than anything.
" Well is she?!", he whispered furiously, trying hard to keep his voice low and all annoyance at being woken up was forgotten, more scared now. It still lingered, beneath the surface, but there was a horrible fear that was so much stronger. As Cinderpaw's green gaze burned into the silver pelt of the other, his paws trembled.
He wanted - no needed to know now!
I never thought I could sing in the rain without a fear
I never thought I'd be lonely without you near
I never thought I could feel like someone new
I never thought about love, until I met you
comments;; haha. xD This shall be fun.
status;; fini
word count;; 1004
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Post by Wazo on Aug 14, 2008 16:59:01 GMT -5
Bearpaw turned at the sound of Cinderpaw's anxious pawsteps behind him. He hadn't expected him to leap out of his nest and follow him that quickly, but had been hoping for a few more moments to compose his thoughts. It seemed that it was now or never.
His eyes met Cinderpaw's and he was stunned to see the fear nakedly present there, along with a heaping helpful of angry marring his usual gentle features. The tom was taken aback and racked his brain for the reason. Yes, he had asked to talk to Cinderpaw, alone, away from his sister, in the early morning where no one in camp was awake. That was more for privacy, because Bearpaw was not looking forward to bringing up this topic.
But as much as Bearpaw wanted to crawl back to his den and sleep till noon, he had an obligation to his sister to make sure Cinderpaw didn't hurt her and wasn't about to use her. His good eye searched Cinderpaw's face before motioning for him to follow him farther away from the apprentice den. StarClan knows what Cometpaw would do if she woke up while Bearpaw was interrogating Cinderpaw. She would slice his ears off and never trust him again, if she did at all. But this was for her own good. It's not like Bearpaw would ever mention it to her, and Cinderpaw would be mousebrain to do so himself.
When he felt reasonably certain that they were out of earshot from the rest of the apprentices, he mewed softly, "No she is not sick. That is not why I brought you out here," he added, his thick gray tail flicking behind him in silent thought.
Thinking it best to put this as blunt as possible, he took a deep breath and said, "Cinderpaw, what are your feelings towards my sister?" |
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Post by __ S K Y E on Aug 14, 2008 17:33:00 GMT -5
sadness flies on the wings of the morning...
[/color]
and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. [/color] [/center]
___ He just stared. The young tom had followed, the nerves that racked his smaller frame making his paws tremble anxiously, Bearpaw in hopes that he would answer him, the need to know that Cometpaw - the very same chocolate-colored femme that never failed to take his breath away every time he saw her, never failed to make his heart flutter with every word, and had certainly taken his heart away without knowing it - was alright. If she was sick - he shuddered - then he didn't know what to do but he knew that whether it was his fault - he cringed again - hers, or someone else's - he would certainly rip their soul out if it was this case - he knew that whatever he had to do, he would do it. It was as simple as this -- Cinderpaw would travel to the ends of the earths for her.
The answer was not what he had been expecting. At first the tabby tom had assumed that Bearpaw was not crazy and he - too - wanted to go back in his den in sleep, but was forced awake by the insane need to have someone he loved - not the same way as Cinderpaw loved her, certainily not, but still she was his sister - be cured. He had expected, at the very most, that Bearpaw would lash out at him for something that Cinderpaw must have said to the breath-takingly beautiful she-cat that made her emotionally ill - he didn't know why this would be the case, though, since she didn't care an ounce for him more than a mutual [or it used to be like that] enemy - or some careless action that he had forgotten to preform to make her physically ill. His whiskers quivered once again at the thought of her being sick, but instead he focused his burning emerald gaze - now paled to a simple light verdant-green - to stare once more. He blinked, in hopes that he had been hearing things, but nope -- Bearpaw was still there, waiting for an answer to that absurd question.
" It's...", he struggled to find the words and instantly flushed, his cheeks becoming a deep scarlet, at what he was about to - no question about that - to explain to this gray-colored tom, the very same cat that he knew nothing about and yet was irrevocably, irresponsibly and impossibly in love with his sister. " ... It's complicated, Bearpaw," he finally managed and for his own embarrassment turned away from the older tom, lips pursed together uncomfortably. Looking down, Cinderpaw shuffled his paws and felt embarrassment flood through his fur like scorching heat, so sure that the other tom would laugh at him for acting this way. However, even as he tried to escape the other apprentice's knowing gaze, there was an even darker and deeper fear hiding right beneath his tabby coat. Fox-dung, why was he lying to himself?
It was simply, easy even; he loved her. Cometpaw could never know - or really understand - that and would simply - he assumed - lash out him for his lop-sided love. She would accuse him of not really meaning it at all -- but oh he did, she would be scared to know how much she exactly meant to him. It was a love stronger than anything -- even stronger than his father's own for their mother. So, all in all, he was convinced that he had to make it look like he wasn't so deeply, irrevocably and irreversibly in love with her. She wouldn't find out though - both because he feared that she would be scared by the strength [which was much too strong for a cat his age] of affections or that she wouldn't return them - if he had anything to say about. A part of him had been urging himself to step away - and out - of her life simply because he did not deserve her, nor her heart and friendship, and by pushing himself further, doing what he thought was for her benefit, he might have been hurting her. What if she didn't love him? After all, there was nothing special about him; he was, admist all of the wonderful toms in RavineClan a too-small, not-enough tom with a horrible deed in his past that weighed him down beyond belief -- he would be a burden to her life. And so, he did not love her, of course not, because - so simply - he was her enemy, her rival - only that - and anything past that would have simply been unlawful. He knew he couldn't tell Cometpaw, but looking up at Bearpaw he wondered what to really say. His lips trembled again, the answer bubbling against the lips and as he watched again, his emerald orbs - though troubled - were as open as ever, revealing his inner turmoil. He loved her. Oh, but he couldn't tell Bearpaw that...
Could he?
I never thought I could sing in the rain without a fear
I never thought I'd be lonely without you near
I never thought I could feel like someone new
I never thought about love, until I met you
comments;; bwhahaha. should cometpaw tell bearpaw the truth?
status;; fini
word count;; 841
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Post by Wazo on Aug 14, 2008 22:06:23 GMT -5
Bearpaw was very aware of Cinderpaw's obvious discomfort, and was in complete agreement. How many times were toms prodded awake at the crack of dawn only to be questioned about their feelings for a she-cat. But this needed to be done and Cinderpaw's answer only complicated things further.
"I can imagine it is," Bearpaw responded dryly, only too in tune to his own akwardness at this conversation. "And this conversation is as weird for you as it is for me," he added, deciding to be completely honest. "But I may be half-blind and even I can see the tension between the two of you. Knowing my sister, I have a good guess as to what she is feeling," he mewed, his gaze cool as he looked at Cinderpaw. "As for you, I am not quite sure...and I was hoping you would clear things up for me."
He took a deep breath and continued. "I know my sister. We are not that close, but I know her. And I can tell that she respects your opinion very highly, perhaps the highest of anyone. Even more then me," he added frankly, not sure whether that bothered him or not. "She craves your attention and admiration most of all and it hurts her the most when she is unable to achieve that. And I don't want her to be hurt."
He wanted Cinderpaw to understand this, but he wasn't sure if he was getting to him. His ears flicked, straining for a sound of movement in the dens, but all was silent, except for their beating hearts and his level voice. "I am not going to repeat this conversation. And I trust you won't either. But Cometpaw and I have had a hard life, one I think you would understand and possibly relate to. But you lost your brother and we lost our parents. The two beings that brought us into this world did not stay with us, to watch us grow, to love and care for us. My father, dead before we were born. My mother, abandoned us, did not see us as a reason to live. Cometpaw is constantly angry and feels alone, and why shouldn't she? Our own mother left us, broke the strongest bond of love forged between two indiiduals. I am handicapped, the clan loses patience with me, and I do not have the luxary of being as selfish as to be emotional. I am not complaining, we have each other, but StarClan has not been kind. This is the only time I have seen my sister draw to someone that was not me. Her happiness hinges on it and that is what matters to me," he finished.
He took a moment to study Cinderpaw, unsure of how he was going to take this. "So I ask you again," he mewed. "What are your feelings towards my sister?" |
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Post by __ S K Y E on Aug 15, 2008 14:41:13 GMT -5
sadness flies on the wings of the morning...
[/color]
and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. [/color] [/center]
___ His eyes widened. Green-flecked pools continued to stare in bewilderment as the other tom spoke, his paws fidgeting uncomfortably as his ears flicked subconsciously towards the apprentice's den. Cometpaw was sleeping, he could tell by the faint rise and fall of her chest - he was that familiar with it that he could hear it from this far away - so he let his shoulders relax slightly, though it was none too obvious that his limbs were still as tense as ever. Even in all of his moons swooning over his once-enemy, moons of watching over her while she slept, moons of yearning to hear her laugh at one of his jokes and see her smile in his direction, he had never expected that - out of all cats - the one who would be able to have a conversation about feelings would be Bearpaw.
That was a surprise in itself, but suddenly hearing that he - him, Cinderpaw!, a part of screamed joyously much like a squealing fangirl - had played such an important part in the beautiful femme's life sent a burst of shock rolling through him, jaw suddenly slack as he fought to gain his attention back. " T-that's not possible! " he finally stuttered, a blush of ruby-red already beginning to adorn his soft, childish cheeks. The affection he felt for the she-cat that he had once - long, long ago in the events of his late kit-hood and early apprentice days - thought of as nothing more than a rival couldn't have been more obvious now and the young tabby looked down at his trembling paws, fighting back a wry grin, before focusing his sharp emerald sight upon the one-eyed tom before him.
His attention was fully concentrated on Bearpaw, verdant optics fierce now, and he could only listen in part-wonder, part-awe as the silver tabby explain their situation, feeling a slight twinge of remorse once remembering the conversation - rather, argument - between him and Cometpaw that had taken place only a few days past. Fighting back a giggle that threatened to bubble to the surface of his lips when he imagined confessing - he always hoped they would have a future together, but he had - all the same - knew that the hope was in vain - later on to the brown she-cat about the conversation these two toms had and her expression was enough to make him double over in laughter, but he did his best to stay put and instead listened unflinchingly at what he already knew.
Cinderpaw had heard things, evidently because he had overall been a quiet tom even from the smallest of his kithood days so he proved as a great listener to those who needed it, providing sympathy whenever he could, throughout the moons before and after Talonpaw's death [somewhere along the line, instead of parting things normally into the moons after and before his apprenticeship - as cats his age often did - young Cinderpaw had parted them into two very different parts, B.T. and A.T. [before and after Talon]]. There had been rumors that their mother had abondoned them in death, that their father had died before they were even born, and as a three moon old kit, being much more understanding observative than his cheery brother, he had held a great amount of sympathy for Bearpaw and Cometpaw.
After his brother's death, the tom hadn't though such a pain was that horrible - he often wished that his mother wasn't so protective and his father so weak and shy - compared to the death of Talonpaw, a cat that he had unflinchingly loved and adored, who had been by his side nearly all his life. His mother raised them both with concern, but could never understand her second son's troubles, and their father was much too quiet, solemn even, to give them much either. As much as Northwind wanted to understand the strong bond that her sons had forged together, she didn't know how unbelievably strong it was and how it made her sons, too completly different individuals, so close, unable to be apart from the other. So, easily enough, Talonpaw became more than a brother to Cinderpaw -- he was like his entire family.
" She can't think of me that way, " he finally mewed, his voice softer than anything but seemingly sharp and confident. He stared unyieldingly at the cat before him, his eyes hard with understanding and pain at the memories - because of Bearpaw's speech - that had washed over him, but at the same time, his gaze was pleading the other apprentice to understand his view too. " Ever since kit-hood we've fought and she can't think of me any more than an enemy after all of that. She hates me, haven't you realized? " he looked up and grinned suddenly, but despite his twinkling lids there was a different sort of pain bubbling beneath his green gaze. He understood Cometpaw and why she was sometimes hurtful, rash to him - he loved her too much not to forgive her every time she shot him down with another insult. He knew why she looked at the world so angrily, feeling alone more than anything, and he would have stepped by her side - if given the chance - to heal that pain, but she wouldn't let him. Why? Simply because she didn't like him, not as a friend, not as anything. It was a simple truth that Cinderpaw had to live with and something that Bearpaw would have to realize, despite everything that Cometpaw's actions seemed to say.
" But even still, " he added, his voice softer than a murmur as he looked down at his paws and he smiled warmly, as if some affectionate memory filled his mind. " I love her. "
I never thought I could sing in the rain without a fear
I never thought I'd be lonely without you near
I never thought I could feel like someone new
I never thought about love, until I met you
[/color] comments;; i luff cinderpaw. so cuute. <33
status;; fini
word count;; 978[/size][/blockquote][/color][/blockquote] |
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Post by Wazo on Aug 16, 2008 21:47:42 GMT -5
Bearpaw could merely stand there, utterly flabbergasted. This was getting a little deep, even for him. He was expected to have to wheedle it out of Cinderpaw, determine that he indeed did have a crush on his sister, and give him a stern warning as to not hurt her.
But he loved her. Bearpaw had not had much experience with love. With a father dead before he was kitted, a mother who couldn't bear to live, and a sister who constantly belittled him, Bearpaw wasn't used to hearing that four letter word. And certainly not from an apprentice directed at his sister.
For a moment, he stared in disbelief at Cinderpaw, his good eye flickering over his face searching for a shadow of deceit, but nothing but the warmest sincerity radiated from him. He believed him, even half-blind, he could see that Cinderpaw truely loved Cometpaw, or at least, believed he loved her. And that threw him off his game.
So what could he do now? Warn Cinderpaw not to hurt her? Well why would he, he loved her, so that didn't make sense. Tell him to be nice to Cometpaw? Again, a no brainer. All that was left was to convince him of Cometpaw's feelings. He wasn't about to play match-maker, by any means, but Cinderpaw seemed firm in his ill-belief.
"You may have not noticed, but I have. How when you don't pay attention to her, she broods for days? How she craves your admiration more then anyone? Even my own? Her accident in the forest was most shameful to her because you were there watching. Why would she want us to go hunting in the first place? So you could come," he told him matter of factly. Bearpaw dealt with facts and observations, not the hidden feelings of a romantic heart. "Yes she yells at you, insults you, and snaps at you. It's because she's scared. Scared to let you close. Because then you will know her and she will have to trust you, making her weaker then she's ever been in her life. And my sister refuses to look weak," he added levely, his green gaze crisp.
"So I guess what im really saying is don't give up. Because she needs you." |
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Post by __ S K Y E on Oct 9, 2008 18:29:38 GMT -5
sadness flies on the wings of the morning...
[/color]
and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. [/color] [/center]
___ Cinderpaw had been trying, quite hard, to not look at Bearpaw, but more importantly not hear the words coming out of his mouth but when he felt his throat tighten and his stomach coil, he knew that he heard. The bitter taste of an unrequited love was still on his tongue as he licked his lips but the tabby tom couldn't look back at the older cat for fear of seeing the truth of his words, seeing the truth that he had tried so hard to forget and run away from.
She valued him - maybe as a good friend, a best friend - but nothing more than that. She might have loved him too, but just as a friend. Cometpaw was certain to fall in love with another tom, someone more galient and talented and powerful than he, when she was ready, just because she deserved it. Cinderpaw knew these things, knew them well, but when he reminded himself of them - lifting his agonized (clearly) emerald eyes to meet Bearpaw's wise, almost challenging gaze - he couldn't speak. The tom was forced to look away, a frown creasing the gentle contours of his young face and he swallowed, surprised at the pain he felt when repeating those words back to him. Despite what Bearpaw insisted, Cometpaw would never love him; she just couldn't and it wasn't only because of their circumstances. She was so different and, as it appeared, surpassed him by far. When he looked back in the direction of the one-eyed apprentice, he found his throat dry and it took him a great amount of effort to speak.
" ... It's not that," he finally meowed, quite certain that his voice was trembling and weak despite his strong resolve. He swallowed hard again; was he really going to be saying this, spilling out all of his internal and most precious feelings, to her brother? For a moment, the tom wavered mentally, pursing his lips, before lifting his head again, his eyes shining. " I know that I can't - could never be without her - but, "
[/color] he paused again, feeling his paws violently shake beneath him. " ... I also know that she can't love me, not like I love her, not like how I want her to."[/color] His ears twitched as he said this, hearing the cats of the clan twitch and tussle in their beddings, a sure sign that they would wake. The bright morning sun was just peaking over the edge of the gorge that surrounded RavineClan, creating long shadows that danced as the wind moved trees, and shrubs. He had little time because although the clan was still awfully quiet, especially with the last hints of green-leaf fading into leaf-fall, and somewhat reluctant to start a new day, time didn't ever stop moving, especially for someone as insignificant as he. Hazel optics flickered to the left, anxiety clawing him like a thorn, and he lowered his head, the soft voice - now - not more than a murmur. "Bearpaw, I know the reason she does those things and by far, it isn't the cause of me that triggers them," he mewed, the sadness and hurt still stabbing at his heart. He had told himself, long ago, that he understood her better than anyone else - understood how she could never love him the same way - so why did it hurt so much? He hadn't a clue. " She craves attention in general, not mine alone. I just happen to be the one willing to give it to her most of the time, " he stopped briefly, biting his lip as the memories washed over him and swallowed him like a raging tide. His lids fluttered briefly, recalling the painful and joyous events like they were yesterday, so strikingly vivid in detail that it hurt. He opened his eyes gain, emerald pools now glinting in silent affection. " She was embarrassed that day, but anyone would be embarrassed regardless of me or not. Didn't she tell you? She yelled and screamed at me, as if she hated me..." he trailed off, his heart pounding in his ears. Why was this so iagonizing? She broods because she misses your parents and like you are, sad because she never got the love she - you both - deserved. She wanted to go hunting because she wants friends, needs them more than anything else, "[/color]he was now staring at his paws, his breathing shallow and he wasn't surprised at having to blink back the tears that suddenly welled in his eyes. He smiled through them, the gesture so open and glorious that it would've made anyone want to cry and comfort him too, but when he lifted his watery pools to meet the tom's, they were shockingly fierce and determined, despite the shrouded agony. " And because that's what she needs, what she always needed and will need for me, that's what I'll be to her, "[/color] he wiped his tears with a paw, " A friend. "[/color] And then it was done.
I never thought I could sing in the rain without a fear
I never thought I'd be lonely without you near
I never thought I could feel like someone new
I never thought about love, until I met you
[/color] comments;; sorry, its so late.
status;; fini
word count;; 849[/size][/blockquote][/color][/blockquote] |
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